There are some fictions that we probably can live with. But there are some that, if we believe them, will ruin our lives.

The advertising world expends a lot of effort and money trying to convince us that we “can have it all.” But the fact is, you can’t have it all. No one can have it all. Having it all is a fiction that failed people believe is possible. Life is a series of choices. Losers are the ones who never figure this out. Winners are those few people who learn to say “No” to the nice and “Yes” to the vital.

Successful leaders understand that it’s not about power…it’s about presence. This is why the best leaders are often those of limited talent, but with time they are willing to share and invest in others. On the other hand, some of the poorest leaders have the most talent, but consider themselves too busy to invest their time in others. Not only is there an arrogance with this approach, it is also a formula for failure. The greatest leaders understand that, despite what the asset sheet may say, their true assets are their people. And people, properly nourished with attention, appreciation, and lots of selfless education…will be the ones who will stand in the gap for their leaders. Great organizations are the result of average people catching the vision and being encouraged to grasp for more than anyone else has told them is possible. It is your job to help those you lead and love become their best selves. It is your job to put self-interest in the backseat and put your staff in the front seat to watch how you drive the car… and, then when the time is right, switch seats.

The late Zig Ziglar used to remind his audiences that the best way to get what you want is to first be sure everyone you lead gets what they want. As a leader it is your goal to leave the woodpile a bit higher when you’re gone than it was when you came.